So….yeah. Another mommy blog. But not JUST another mommy blog- nope. Because, well……yeah. I’m THAT mommy. You know, the one you see in the grocery store yelling at her kids, inviting other shoppers to just ram said children with their carts when they won’t get out of the way (why hasn’t anyone taken me up on this offer yet?!?! I want to ram kids with the cart ALL the time and no one has ever given me permission- I would be ON that in 2.2 seconds). Have you ever seen the mom who tells her children not to worry about getting kidnapped because ten minutes after they are taken, the kidnappers would bring them back with an apology and fifty bucks for my “trouble”? Yeah. I’m THAT mommy. The mom who often ponders the benefits of tasering her children and thinks it should no longer be frowned upon? Yeah…..you get the picture.
Anyhoo. Meet the family- we have the boys: The Teen (15), The Almost Teen (11), The Mouth (8), and The Sweet One (6) and then the lone girl- Princess She-Beast (2). The Husband and I are so proud of our offspring. It simply radiates off of us. Oh wait, that is sweat. And embarrassment.
So join me in my attempt to chronicle our not so merry adventures. Hopefully you will find a laugh or two. Perhaps pee your pants. Just remember, it’s all in fun. I wouldn’t have so many children if I didn’t love them more than life itself and all that other crap. Geez.
Update: Since I don’t do this that often, the kids have gotten older. IMAGINE that. So now we have to rename them. We can still have The Teen (17), Weird Kid (almost 14 and YES- he knows I call him Weird Kid. He likes it.), The Mouth is STILL The Mouth (10- DOUBLE DIGITS, yo!) (totally not sure why I said “yo” there, but it felt like it needed to be there, so there you go). We will stick with The Sweet One but is sometimes known as the Sneaky One so they may be interchanged at random, depending on which one fits (almost 9) and Princess She-Beast (4- and yes, she actually thinks that Princess She-Beast is part of her name, just ask her).